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the theology of the Orthodox Church man is made in the Image of the Most-holy
Trinity, and, except in certain special cases (such as monasticism, for
example), he is not intended by God to live alone, but in a family situation.
Just as God blessed the first humans, Adam and Eve, to live as a family,
to be fruitful and multiply, so too the Church blesses the union of a
man and a woman. Marriage, however, is not a state of nature, but is rather
a state of grace, and married life is a special vocation (no less than
the special calling of monasticism), requiring a gift or charism from
the Holy Spirit - this gift being conferred in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
That Holy Matrimony has divine sanction comes no less from the words of
the Lord Himself, Who says: Have you not read that He Who made them from
the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a
man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the
two shall become one flesh [Gen. 2:24]? So they are no longer two but
one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder
(Matt. 19:5-6).
The Holy Apostle Paul sees this mystical union of husband and wife as
reflecting the mystical union of Christ with His Church: Wives, be subject
to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife
as Christ is the head of the Church, His body.... Husbands, love your
wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her.... Even
so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves
his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes
and cherishes it, as Christ does the Church, because we are members of
His body.... This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers
to Christ and the Church... (Eph. 5:22-25, 28-30, 32).
The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony consists of two parts: Betrothal and Crowning.
The Betrothal is, in some way, the civil act, sanctified by the blessing
of the Church. It sanctifies the intention of two persons to enter into
the martial union and reflects Old Testament customs, when on those who
had expressed their intentions to marry, rings were placed. This exchange
of rings in the Office of Betrothal is an outward token that the two partners
join in marriage of their own free will and consent, for without free
consent on both sides there can be no Sacrament of Christian marriage.
 The
Office of Crowning also contains an Old Testament element in the crowning
itself, which reflects the ancient practice of placing crowns on the heads
of the betrothed. This is the outward and visible sign of the Sacrament,
signifying the special grace of the Holy Spirit received by the couple.
These crowns are crowns of joy and martyrdom - joy for the new union and
martyrdom since every true marriage involves immeasurable self-sacrifice
on both sides.
In the Greek Churches, the crowns are usually made of leaves and flowers,
while in the Russian Church they are usually made of silver or gold. Customarily
in the Russian Church the crowns are held over the couples' heads by the
best man and maid of honor, but in many places (as in Romania, for example)
they are actually worn by the bride and groom.
The Gospel for the day contains the account of the Wedding
in Cana in Galilee (John 2:1-11). The blessing, given by God to man in
Paradise was renewed by Christ in the New Testament, when, at the beginning
of His ministry, He performed the miracle of changing water into wine.
Thus, at the end of the Marriage Service the newly-married couple drink
from the same cup of wine, which recalls this miracle of Our Lord. The
common cup here is also a symbol that henceforth they will share a common
life with one another.
Divorce and Remarriage
The Holy Orthodox Church does, however, permit divorce and remarriage,
quoting as her authority the words of the Savior: For your hardness of
heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning
it was not so. And I say to you: Whoever divorces his wife, except for
unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery (Matt. 19:8-9). Here
Our Lord allows an exception to the indissolubility of marriage, and so,
too, the Church is willing to allow an exception.
While in principle the church regards the marriage bond as lifelong and
indissoluble, and condemns the breakdown of marriage as a sin and an evil,
she still desires to help the sinners and to allow them a second chance.
Thus, when a marriage has ceased to be a reality, the Church does not
insist on the preservation of a legal fiction. Divorce, therefore, is
seen as an exceptional, but necessary concession to human weakness. Yet,
while helping men and women to rise again after a fall, the Church does
not view a second or third union as being the same as the first and thus,
in the ceremony for a second or third marriage, several joyful ceremonies
are omitted and replaced by penitential prayers. Orthodox Canon Law permits
a second or third marriage, but more than that is strictly forbidden. |
